Guide
Safer Sex Over 50: Enjoy It and Stay Healthy
The practical side of a friends with benefits arrangement, from condoms to comfort.
By Older Friends With Benefits. Facts checked 15 October 2026 against NHS, UKHSA and MHRA pages. General information, not medical advice.
Safer sex over 50 in a nutshell
Use condoms with any new partner until you've both been tested, get checked regularly if either of you sees anyone else, and get help with the changes age can bring, such as dryness or erection problems. NHS sexual health clinics are free and open to everyone, whatever their age, and you can order a home test kit online.
None of this needs to dampen the fun. Sorting it out early means you can relax and enjoy each other, which is the whole point of a friend with benefits.
Why it matters more than you might think
Once pregnancy is off the table, many people stop thinking about protection. Infections haven't stopped thinking about us. In England, the UK Health Security Agency's figures show new sexually transmitted infection diagnoses among people aged 65 and over rose from 3,112 in 2024 to 3,608 in 2025, even though diagnoses across all ages fell by 8.3% over the same year.
Some infections have no symptoms for a long time, so feeling fine isn't proof of anything. The good news is that testing is quick, confidential and, through the NHS, costs nothing.
Condoms: still the simplest protection
The NHS says using a condom every time is the best way to protect yourself and your partner from HIV and other infections. You can get condoms free from sexual health clinics and some GP surgeries and pharmacies, as well as buying them in supermarkets and chemists.
- Add lubricant. It makes condoms more comfortable and less likely to tear. Use a water-based or silicone-based one, because the NHS warns that oil-based lubricant damages latex condoms.
- Find a fit you like. Sizes and materials vary, so if one brand feels wrong, try another.
- Keep some handy. Bringing your own takes the awkwardness out of the moment.
Getting tested
NHS sexual health clinics offer free, confidential testing and treatment to anyone, whether or not they have symptoms, and the NHS website has a postcode search to find your nearest one. You can also order a home test kit online and post it back.
A sensible rhythm for a friends with benefits arrangement: test before you stop using condoms with each other, and again whenever either of you has a new partner. Sharing results is a simple act of respect, and it's a relief when the other person suggests it first. If either of you sees other people regularly, ask a clinic about PrEP, which helps prevent HIV and is free from NHS sexual health clinics.
When your body changes
Dryness after the menopause
The NHS describes vaginal dryness as a common problem. Moisturisers and lubricants are sold in pharmacies without a prescription, and a GP can prescribe hormonal treatments such as creams, pessaries, gels or vaginal rings. Since 2022, some low-dose vaginal tablets for women over 50 have been sold by pharmacists without a prescription, after the medicines regulator reclassified them.
Erection problems
The NHS says erection problems are very common, particularly in men over 40. If it keeps happening, see a GP: it can be a sign of a health condition that can be treated, such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes. One treatment, Viagra Connect, was approved in 2017 for sale by pharmacists without a prescription, and the pharmacist checks it suits you first.
Taking it slowly
More time, more touching and more laughter help with all of the above. A good friend with benefits will be patient, and you should be too.
How to bring it up
Talk about it before you're undressed, ideally at your first or second meeting. Plain words work best: "Before we get carried away, I'd like us both to get tested. I'll go next week, would you do the same?" Nobody sensible takes offence, and if someone does, that tells you something useful.
Our friends with benefits rules fold this into the other things worth agreeing, and our safety page covers meeting safely.
Safer sex over 50: your questions
Can you get STIs over 50?
Yes. Age gives no protection, and figures for England show new diagnoses among people 65 and over rose from 3,112 in 2024 to 3,608 in 2025.
Do we need condoms if pregnancy isn't possible?
Yes, with any new partner until you've both been tested. Condoms protect against infections as well as pregnancy.
Where can I get tested?
At any NHS sexual health clinic, which is free and confidential and open to all ages, or with a home test kit ordered online.
What helps with dryness after the menopause?
Lubricants and vaginal moisturisers from a pharmacy are a good start, and a GP can prescribe hormonal creams, pessaries, gels or rings.